tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-310066762024-02-08T09:23:02.000-08:00Dont you hate it when...Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006676.post-3981386291241621862012-10-01T21:51:00.001-07:002012-10-01T21:51:11.771-07:00Cactus<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">yo dawg... you want some cactus action? sharp ass plants you cant touch or put near kids? shit... count me it! california cactus center has it going on!</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">this place has cactus. they are all spiky and green. some are in pots... i wasnt paying attention. they say cactus makes a great gift. being on the receiving end of many gifts in my lifetime... birthdays, christmas, kwanzaa... i can tell you right now, i would punch you in the face if you gave me a cactus. seriously... are you that big of an ass? hey dude... i got you this cactus. its low maintenance like your sister. wtf? yeah, thanks for this prickly piece of shit that no one can touch for fear of injury. let me just put this in the window for everyone to admire. they will complement me on the thorns and quality of potting gravel. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">driving by this place you would think that it is an abandoned lot. imagine the apocalypse happening in a 200x200 square on rosemead blvd. the best thing at the cactus center is the del taco next door. i recommend the #1. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">in general, cactus is something you keep to yourself. it isnt a gift... its barely even a plant. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">3 stars because del taco is nearby...</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006676.post-40805275222426273072012-10-01T21:50:00.003-07:002012-10-01T21:50:46.253-07:00Tiffanys<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">sup fools! i needed to get some bling bling for my grill and some other sparkly shit... so i got my homies and peeps and went down to tiffanys....</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">now dawg, this place aint for posers, no no... this place is for true ballers. the people are freakin legit! as soon as we walked through the door with our roca wear and fubu clothing they knew we were real. they came over and immediately felt our clothing all over while we stood with our arms against the wall. they could barely get over how nice it was.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">so i take out my gold toof and im like... HOLLA! i want some diamonds bitch! the bitch ass from behind the counter gets me some ice and i start putting them in my mouth. i found the perfect one almost immediately. it sparkled like a glock in the moonlight. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">dis place is fo real! im gettin all my bling bling at tiffanys!</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006676.post-25761347922405074862012-10-01T21:50:00.001-07:002012-10-01T21:50:19.914-07:00Target<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">listen... weve all been to target. lol i call it targé.... really? do you? wow... thats a new one to me. you see, i was living under a rock with cork in my ears for the last 50 years. im totally impressed by your wit. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">i go here to buy stuff. i use money. easy... they sell everything from luggage to toys. you can even get food here! the food court is pretty awful. the popcorn tastes like sandpaper and the hot dog may as well be fecal matter in a bun. if youre coming to target to eat, you are fat, ugly, and need help. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">some of the things i like to do at target:</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">open packages of underwear.... people wont buy open underwear </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">touch EVERYTHING.... everything</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">go to the freezer section and ask for odd food items... gator bits</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">play games in electronics while a little kid waits... his mom is totally right there and wants to leave... he is all worried he wont get a turn... i just play until the mom is like LETS GO! lol.... then as they are leaving i make sure the kid sees me...</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006676.post-33690912062532603782012-10-01T21:49:00.005-07:002012-10-01T21:49:57.322-07:00Olive Garden<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">everyone likes pasta... yes you do... shut up. olive garden has like 8 different types and its all you can eat for 8.95. as if that wasnt enough to get you hot and heavy they also have salad and bread sticks. let me tell you, the feeling of putting that long, warm bread stick in your mouth is a feeling like no other...</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">we had a large party so we made it easy and all ordered the never ending pasta thing. the pasta was very good and pretty much the best thing ever. our waitress was stressed to the max and we didnt help... we asked for all kinds of weird shit like vinegar and oil.... more salad... a song and dance number... a golden eagle... and another fork. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">one waiter that gave us water was obviously high. in fact, he spilled water all over the place and into the pasta my friend was eating. he then proceeded to get naked and run around the restaurant yelling about how we were eating people. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">in general, the meal was good. everyone was happy...</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006676.post-52728814587627035032012-10-01T21:49:00.003-07:002012-10-01T21:49:31.339-07:00Red Lobster<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">i got crabs from red lobster... they tasted ok. the real treasure here are the freakin biscuits. i would beat a unicorn to death for a basket of those butter soaked heart stoppers. pro tip: order crabs and open up a biscuit. place the crab in there.... close it up. you are now going to eat a McCrab sandwich. dip the whole thing in butter for that extra fat feeling.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">the waiting room has a small tank where they keep criminal lobsters. these lobsters committed many a crime while in the sea. i saw one that had a tattoo... said "pinch this! Bitch!"</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">while waiting for my table i saw no less than 3 lobster knife fights. it was obvious which one was the bitch lobster. he just curled up in the corner and watched the others battle over his oddly small anus.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">in general, the wait staff was friendly.... i was slightly upset that none of them where actual sailors. overall.... ok experience.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006676.post-57727620346345280012012-10-01T21:49:00.001-07:002012-10-01T21:49:00.396-07:00Tea Station<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">are you a bitch? sure you are! thats why you think it's a good idea to go to tea station. this place makes me want to expose myself to many types of dangerous and mysterious diseases in hopes that it will end my life so i dont have to eat here. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">first of all... this place isnt even a station, its a restaurant. not a train or bus in sight. the place feels like a cheap plastic toy. they have little tea pots (neither short nor stout) that have price tags on them up to like $200. really? you really think someone will pay $200 for a shitty little clay teapot? obviously they do because the food here is expensive and greatly lacking substance. i ordered chicken... i think. i pointed to the picture because the waitress didnt speak english. im fine with that... but they gotta know what chicken is. i got meat... on rice... with what seemed to be mushrooms. point is, it sucked ass. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">imagine being a dolphin... youre out in the ocean doing your thing... evil dolphin stuff... ok? then one day you get hung up on something. its a net... oh noes! so you react... *thrash to the left* *thrash to the right* *get mad* *break shit* *RAGE* you eventually except your fate as part of a tuna salad... sad day! </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">thats what eating at tea station is like. no matter how hard you try to like it, it gives you a reason to hate it. wontons? i fucking LOVE wontons! the ones at tea station taste like crusty skin deep fried in toilet water. i swear i could produce better food if someone cut off all my arms and legs, stabbed me, then lit me on fire. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">stay away from this place...</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006676.post-23039138604580279182012-10-01T21:48:00.002-07:002012-10-01T21:48:33.218-07:00In n Out<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">i went to in n out today... worst decision EVER. the temple city, ca location is the WORST in n out ever. i got to witness as one of the employees used his bare hands to push the trash into the can... then turn around and start handling food (potatoes). seriously guys, get it together. this is gross and i will avoid this location like the plague. you pride yourself on your nice clean restaurants yet the this location doesnt seem to care.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006676.post-26966734030971970122012-10-01T21:47:00.001-07:002012-10-01T21:47:53.234-07:00Big Wangs<span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">let me tell you how awesome big wangs is. this place makes buffalo wild wings look like the inbred hick flipper child of hometown buffet and burger king. their wings are amazing and huge compared to other similar restaurants. they give you your beverages in these giant 2 gallon cups so you never have flag down a waitress (ill get to them in a second) for more sweet nectar of life. your lips will be on fire when those spicy ass wings hit you like chris brown. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">the waitresses are amazing, both in looks and skill. my waitress (Marissa... you can tell which one she is because shes the cutest) asked if it was my first time and i said yes. she then proceeded to explain the menu and the specials to me. i got hooked up with what can only be described as the meat of some mythical delicious creature. i wept at the fact that i knew in just a few short minutes i will have consumed all my food. i almost didnt eat the last wing so i could stay longer and enjoy the company of my fabulous waitress (Marissa... shes the cute one, remember?)</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #444444; font-family: arial, 'Lucida Grande', 'Bitstream Vera Sans', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 16px;">Go here... eat food... get drinks... watch a game. This place is AMAZING.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006676.post-23763124019017324182010-08-28T23:49:00.003-07:002010-08-28T23:49:48.717-07:00Larry H.so you were doing construction work and you accidentally nailed your hand to a 2x4. youre incompetent, angry, and seek revenge. you have the motor skills of patrick star... you need larry h parker.<br /><br />for many years, larry h parker has been fighting for you. i once saw the guy step in the ring with a tiger. he sued the shit out of it! that tiger had so many legal fees to cover it was ridiculous.<br /><br />one of my friends slipped while at work... i couldnt blame him. the kid he stepped on was totally in the way. they fired him! none of us could believe it. where was our justice? here he was.... practically on his death bed without any source of income other than the state welfare. we did what any other red blooded american would do, we sat on our asses and bitched. OMG did we bitch... we bitched at each other, we bitched at our neighbors... hell, even the mailman got bitched at. finally after watching maury, we saw an add for larry h parker. i almost hurt my hand dialing so fast. larry himself answered the phone and i told him about my friends accident and the near miss i just had with the number pad. he told me not to worry... shit, i wouldnt even have to pay until after he won the case! we sued the company for almost $50,000. thats like... a lot.<br /><br />so the court date came and my friend and i put on our best suits. we went into the court room with larry. i was so nervous. larry seemed so confident. he kicked in the court room doors and busted his ass down the aisle. he threw his briefcase down and proceeded to TELL the judge how this shit is going to go down. everyone kept there whore mouths shut while he was talking.... it was amazing. the judge ruled in our favor and we got the money! it was awesome. larry took some legal fees and we ended up with $2,000.... pretty good!<br /><br />larry h parker doesnt just fight for you.... he fights for america. last i heard, he was on his way to the gulf to try and stop the oil spill... with his bare hands...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com50tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006676.post-77142279297676924072010-08-28T23:49:00.001-07:002010-08-28T23:49:27.261-07:00Dave and Busters<div class="review_comment"> dave & busters.... get wasted and play games. have more to drink.... expose yourself to the waiter... drink a little more.... well, that joystick will never be the same...<br /><br />this place is expensive. its also loud and crowded. they have a super weird entry policy... follow me on this. under 18 with someone over 25=ok. over 21=ok. if youre say, 19 with a group of friends, they wont let you in!<br /><br />i like the basketball game. i always win! i swipe my game card and this little wall lifts up. i once won 4 basketballs! they are usually pretty worn... but thats ok. i also like the claw game. theres nothing like molesting stuffed animals in a glass cube. some games are super hard to play. they have a racing game where up to 7 people can play together. i always lose... its hard to steer when you are jamming onion rings down your throat.<br /><br />this location is kinda ghetto. the metal detectors keep out people wearing armor but do little to protect against ninjas. the highlight of the evening was finding pepper spray just outside the door in the bushes. i sprayed the closest 6 people i could find. LOL.. they were like OMG WHY? ive never seen so many tears!<br /><br />for those of you that like to be groped... and i know some of you do... this place rocks for that. the casual "bump" at the pool table. the accidental "rub" at the bar.... the "sodomy" in the bathroom..... its all there. best part about all of it is that there are so many people you will never find out who is actually doing it! could it be the weird spanish guy with the pencil thin mustache? how bout the asian guy with the super cool spiked hair? it might even be the cougar you saw earlier at the bar! its probably not the cougar though... they only let it out on tuesdays and usually keep it chained up.<br /><br />overall.... this place gets 5 stars for the hot molestation factor and 1 star for the lack of ninja protection. </div> <div class="reviewActions clearfix"> <a href="http://www.yelp.com/writeareview/biz/aN8nqbsaEh1ubmQWYNXKew?review_id=HOKFY0VQkCZLO02Is7qkOw&return_url=%2Fuser_details%3Fuserid%3D_0sJhdTru7Cl_h9CWVZXzw" class="editReview">Edit</a> <a href="http://www.yelp.com/writeareview/HOKFY0VQkCZLO02Is7qkOw/remove?return_url=%2Fuser_details%3Fuserid%3D_0sJhdTru7Cl_h9CWVZXzw" class="removeReview">Remove</a> </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006676.post-23992716105163261632010-08-28T23:48:00.001-07:002010-08-28T23:48:59.836-07:00Lizard Theateri went to the lizard theater to see one thing... lizards. i expected to walk in, sit down, and enjoy a stage show performed by reptiles. biggest disappointment ever!<br /><br />there wasnt a single lizard int the place. i checked the bathroom... no lizards. behind the bar... no lizards. i even went through peoples purses and only found like $40.... but no lizards.<br /><br />i wanted to see the amazing chameleon with its super long tongue or a monitor lizard (half reptile, half computer screen). sigh...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006676.post-64347062541791692082010-08-28T21:50:00.000-07:002010-08-28T21:51:19.173-07:00Little Caesarsthe pizza empire that Caesar has grown over the years is near its end. we will not stand for the taxes levied on the poor. too many of us have been forced to fight to the death in the coliseum. pizza pizza! is not a battle cry i support! the red sauce is the blood of our fallen brothers. the cheese is the goo that unites us... and the crust.... thats just crust.<br /><br />for $5 you cant complain. does it taste like cardboard? yep, sure does. are you a fuckin food critic? no? then stfu! its a $5 pizza. i dont wanna hear how it doesnt taste good or how you need it modified to suit your needs. open the door, walk in, slam a $5 bill on the counter, verbally order your pizza, get some crazy bread, leave. you cant go wrong!<br /><br />i hate people. (this isnt a typo btw)<br /><br />i hate people that buy little caesars then bitch and moan about how it doesnt taste like pizza hut or papa johns. are you an idiot? if you wanted pizza hut then go buy it. whats that? youre too cheap? yeah... then shut up and eat some crazy bread.<br /><br />crazy bread was invented by nazi scientists as a way of putting as many calories as possible in a small bread loaf. seriously! its bread, with cheese on top... then dipped in butter. this butter must me made from the milk of angels because its ridiculous. the grease on the top of the pizza is the best part. who needs dipping sauce when you got this stuff?<br /><br />the cashier at this particular location was pretty hot... thats a plus. its hard to impress someone when youre dropping $5 for pizza to eat by yourself... and youre obese.<br /><br />overall, little caesars makes a pretty good pizza at a cheap price. its fast and easy... just like (insert girls name... *everyone lols*) they dont take credit card or debit. is it that hard to get $5 in cash? are you so wealthy that finding that piddly amount is just too hard to do? my word! i had no idea mr trump was gonna buy his family a pizza with his gold card.<br /><br />bottom line: youre fat, cheap, and lazy.... go get a pizza from little caesarsUnknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006676.post-1153887531594439012006-07-25T20:52:00.000-07:002006-07-26T01:53:37.443-07:00Organic Food<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Organic food is for hippies!</span><br /><p class="MsoNormal"><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.yohm.co.uk/london_yoga_holiday_health_spa/250/london_yoga_pure_package.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 207px; height: 289px;" src="http://www.yohm.co.uk/london_yoga_holiday_health_spa/250/london_yoga_pure_package.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>i hate organic food. i dont care if it is good for me... i dont care if it has a lot of nutrients. what the hell are nutrients anyway? that is all anyone ever talks about! screw that shit! i want by blue 46 and yellow 23. i dont care what the flavor is... whats my favorite flavor? green! thats my favorite flavor. how is green a flavor? hell if i know!<br /><br />i will tell you right off the bat... there is nothing better in life than biting into a big juicy government controlled steroid enriched burger. fuck regular cows! those are the bitch cows that dont get any. i want the big meaty cow with an extra head for added flavor! i wont buy anything in a store that doesnt say artificial added flavor. i love artificial flavor! there is nothing like a cherry pepsi... all filled with whatever the hell they put in it. my favorite juice is the one that says... contains 0% juice. hell yeah, water and color....thats it! then give it to the flavor elf to make it all badass and good. yeah, i said it... flavor elf.<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.animalactivism.org/documents/photos/med_22540__kfc01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://www.animalactivism.org/documents/photos/med_22540__kfc01.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>now if you are that guy that only eats soy milk and likes to marry animals instead of decapitating them for food.... you are an asshole. the whole point of a chicken is to die. that is the only reason they even exist. wait.... scratch that, first you need to pump them full of corn and chemicals for taste... i wont eat it unless it has like 50 heads and more juice than barry bonds. chicken nuggets are awesome. they come in 2 shapes, one for dipping and the other for more dipping. you cant make it any easier than that!<br /><br />most animals would kill for a chance to die for you... trust me. most animals would throw themselves in front of a train if they knew we would scrap them up for food. cats and dogs have been killing themselves with cars for years... when your dog gets smashed, it means he wanted you to eat him, now honor his ass by eating it!<br /><br />is it just me, or are all the people that buy that organic crap always stuck up and to good to be like everyone else? screw you! wow, you are way cool... you just spent $5 on a can of soy milk. yay for you. i took my $5 and got 5 Mc Chickens.... thats right, 5 chinkens died for this badass meal. you are a pansy... <p class="MsoNormal">salad is totally badass if you dont care about organic. it comes in a sack. hell yes! i just rip open the bag w<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/1600/lib015331.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/320/lib015331.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>ith my totally bomb high fructose corn syrup hands and BAM! salad for me and my 3 closest friends. wait, i forgot... i need meat on this.... there we go, bacon bits and chiken strips. so with the 5 mc chickens, i am at 7 animals. that sounds like a cool number. if only there was a way to celebrate... i know! i will ride a horse... to the dog food factory! piece of shit horse...<br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006676.post-1153288513398813702006-07-18T22:23:00.000-07:002006-07-24T01:27:08.826-07:00Sonic Burger<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Sonic Burger is lame!</span><br /><br />i live in southern california. we got a few of these shitty<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.booneville.com/03%20Sonic%20Sign.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 253px; height: 208px;" src="http://www.booneville.com/03%20Sonic%20Sign.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a> burger joints called sonic burger out here. they claim to be americas drive in. screw that! i hate sonic. the bitches have got to be the slowest people on the planet. the whole system they use is jacked up. so you get to sonic burger and you have a couple of choices. you can either pull your car into a special stall where you can sit and rot... or you can get your fat lazy ass out of your car and sit at a table and rot. in either case, if you do ever actually get your food, congratulations! you place your order through this magical talking board. you press the button and wait for some asshat to say, "welcome to sonic, can i make your life miserable?".<br /><br />the sonic i went to took roughly 15 minutes just to answer the god damned board call. i could have died in that time! do you have any idea what can take place in 15 minutes? i do, and let me tell you something, it is a lot of crap. so the dumb bitch finally comes on and asks me for my order. i look at the 5 foot neon sign that says ONION RINGS. i lean in for the kill... i would like some small onion rings. "we are out of onion rings". are you serious? you have a sign that had to cost about $500 and you took the time to light it up and you dont even c<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.south-ayrshire.gov.uk/tradingstandards/images/Copy%20of%20Dying%20calf%20on%20hill.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 272px; height: 204px;" src="http://www.south-ayrshire.gov.uk/tradingstandards/images/Copy%20of%20Dying%20calf%20on%20hill.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>arry the product it advertises.<br /><br />i finally place my order and i wait. i have seen turkish prisons that operate more smoothly than this place. like a conveyerbelt of stupidity, the waitresses come out 1 by 1 shouting, "who go the tots?" you simply raise your hand and BAM! you get your order. but in my situation, my order never came. i asked 3 times for it. people that got there 15 minutes after were getting their food, why couldnt i get mine? i will tell you why! they just give orders at random to people. they dont give a shit who takes it, they just want the food out of the kitchen. i finally had to talk to the pink midget that was the manager and explain to her that i am not some piece of meat that can be left to die.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.tillerman.net/uploaded_images/sonic-785270.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 229px; height: 218px;" src="http://www.tillerman.net/uploaded_images/sonic-785270.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />this got me thinking, how can a place called sonic be so shitty and slow? the real sonic is fast and furious and has a "life partner" named tails. and you can ask tails... he is really fast. and the real sonic knows how you really want it. you think it is really kinky when he has all those rings dont you? so anyway, after i finally get my order, it is wrong. i said screw it and ate it all. after about 1 1/2 hours, i had my meal and about a good portion of anger. i hate sonic burger, the food tastes like shit.<br /><br />as if my whole experience couldnt get any worse.... i got spammed. some dumbass came up to me and asked for money for children in some country i couldnt pronounce. i look at this guy, he has a desi-<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.volunteernow.ca/take_action/source/issues_child_labor_008.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 162px; height: 219px;" src="http://www.volunteernow.ca/take_action/source/issues_child_labor_008.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a>gner shirt on with pretty nice shoes... along with a good pair of shorts. mabye if these kids werent so busy making this guys clothes, they could be out getting some decent money. i say we do the american thing and just let what happens happen, then worry about it after the fact.<br /><br />THANK YOU sonic for a great experience! i will be sure to rate you guys right up there with ball in a cup.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006676.post-1153210309819624042006-07-18T00:34:00.000-07:002006-07-23T22:19:14.636-07:00Attention Whores<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Yeah...you're pretty ugly</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">you know who you are... your a whore. but not just </span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/1600/attention_whore.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/320/attention_whore.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">any whore, oh no, your special. you are an attention whore. real whores give out blowjobs and perform strange sex acts for pennies on the dollar. not you though... you have dignity. you have class. you ooze upscale. you are an attention whore.</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br />usually attention whores are roughly aged 14 to 21. they tend to be somewhat attractive and have that bubbly personality that makes you want to beat them to death with their own arms. they always want to be a part of the conversation... scratch that, they want to BE the conversation. if it isnt about them, they arent interested. they pretend to be all over you and your friends. "look at me, dont i look beautiful?" these girls have a knack for finding the right people at the right time. like a guided missile they find the nearest, dumbest person that is willing to give them the time of day. most attention whores are like feral cats. you feed it and they are yours forever.<br /><br /></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /><br />the last th</span><a style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.jollyshirts.com/images/shirts/Cock%20Tease.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 132px; height: 164px;" src="http://www.jollyshirts.com/images/shirts/Cock%20Tease.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">ing you need is an attention whore. like weeds in a garden they can suck the life out of you and y</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">ou</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">r friends. but guess what.... thats all they are going to suck. yeah, thats right... they wouldnt know what to do with it if it hit them in the face. they are all cock teases. they wear scandalous outfits and do suggestive dancing... all in an attempt to get ATTENTION! they want it so bad they will practically do anything to get it. they would club the pope to death with a kitten if they knew it would get them some air time on the news. give me a break! most of the</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">m dont even realize that most of the guys hate them.<br /><br />every once in a while you will find a special breed of attention whore. the UGLY attention whore. these chicks are fat and still want you to like them. whereas a regular whore oozes herpes... these bitches sweat gravy. you could literally s</span><a style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b282/jdogg4688/attention_whore.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b282/jdogg4688/attention_whore.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">neak up to them with a biscuit and wipe it on their arm for a well balanced brakfast. be careful though... if you see one of these whores and try to run away, they might use their tractor beam to pull you in. in another scenario, if you try to run by them in hopes that they dont see you... you might just go into orbit. you are helpless... you float through the space around their body until feedng time comes around. like being thrown into a Rancor pit, you will be ripped limb from limb. any escape attemt is usless and you should just slit your wrist and hope you bleed to death before she starts her feeding cycle.</span><br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">to take out an attention whore you need a couple of things... a brick, a pole, and a small animal. first things first. using your pole, stab the animal in the head. dangle it in front of the attention whore... and when she goes for it, knock her fat ass out with the brick. now that she is stunned, lift up the folds under her chin and slit her throat. at this point you can hang her like a deer for cleaning and skinning at a later time. good luck..</span><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006676.post-1153116331539718262006-07-16T22:24:00.000-07:002006-07-17T01:50:22.310-07:00Pokemon<span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Pikachu is a douche bag!</span><br /><br /></span> <p style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">i will say this upfront. i HATE pokemon with a passion. i now t<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/1600/pokemon_2.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><span style="text-decoration: none;"><!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shapetype id="_x0000_t75" coordsize="21600,21600" spt="75" preferrelative="t" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" filled="f" stroked="f"> <v:stroke joinstyle="miter"> <v:formulas> <v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"> <v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"> <v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"> <v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"> <v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"> <v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"> <v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"> <v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"> </v:formulas> <v:path extrusionok="f" gradientshapeok="t" connecttype="rect"> <o:lock ext="edit" aspectratio="t"> </v:shapetype><v:shape id="_x0000_i1025" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/1600/pokemon_2.jpg" style="'width:240pt;height:157.5pt'" button="t"> <v:imagedata src="file:///C:\DOCUME~1\BRANDO~1\LOCALS~1\Temp\msohtml1\01\clip_image001.jpg" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/320/pokemon_2.jpg"> </v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><!--[endif]--></span></a>he fad is gone but i dont care! people still hate Hitler and he has been dead for 50 years! i could fill a lan<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/1600/pokemon_2.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/320/pokemon_2.0.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>dfill with all the crap i have to say about pokemon... but i think i will only go over the stuff i REALLY hate. first of all, look at this picture. "whats going on?", you ask... hell if i know! it looks like a dog on LSD has had a shitload of spicy food and has decided to vomit on pikachu as some form of sex act. pikachu on the other hand, being the little bitch that he is, is fighting back with about the same amount of electricity as i use to power my toaster oven. and WTF is that crap on his face? is he wearing makeup?<br /><br />lets analyze the story behind pokemon. supposedly there are like 50 million pokemon and your goal... being the pre-prepubescent Japanese person you are... is to capture all of them. uh huh. the slogan says it.. "gotta catch'em all". i have heard this slogan before, now wear can it be from? oh thats right! that is the slogan of the red light district! why have 1 STD when you can have 6! i mean, hell, while your at it, you can share condoms and needles too! so anyway, you are a 13 year old jap and you are seeking some form of approval from your homophobic friends. isnt that what smoking is for? no, thats too easy... you have to go out into the wilderness alone and fight! battle to the death with other 13 year old Japanese kids! well, not really. you see, you actually dont do any of the fighting... your pokemon does.<br /></p><p style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">THATS RIGHT BITCH! you sit on your fat ass and yell shit at your pokemon during the battle! slash attack! sock him in the face! beat his childr<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/1600/35clefairy.0.png"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/320/35clefairy.0.png" alt="" border="0" /></a>en! etc. etc. etc. where do all these pieces of shit come from you ask? well, these are random free creatures running rampant on some form of land. they are then captured and forced to live in a small ball called a poke ball. these balls are usually kep<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/1600/35clefairy.png" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><span style="text-decoration: none;"><!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shapetype id="_x0000_t75" coordsize="21600,21600" spt="75" preferrelative="t" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" filled="f" stroked="f"> <v:stroke joinstyle="miter"> <v:formulas> <v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"> <v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"> <v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"> <v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"> <v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"> <v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"> <v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"> <v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"> </v:formulas> <v:path extrusionok="f" gradientshapeok="t" connecttype="rect"> <o:lock ext="edit" aspectratio="t"> </v:shapetype><v:shape id="_x0000_i1025" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/1600/35clefairy.png" style="'width:105pt;height:103.5pt'" button="t"> <v:imagedata src="file:///C:\DOCUME~1\BRANDO~1\LOCALS~1\Temp\msohtml1\01\clip_image001.png" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/320/35clefairy.png"> </v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><!--[endif]--></span></a>t in some form of sack. some refer to it as a "ball sack". now the pokemon are forced to battle with each other to the death for the pure entertainment of the owners. this is were it gets intense. some pokemon are little bitches, like clefairy. clefairy is basically a piece of shit. he/she/it sits there and does nothing. it bitches, it moans.... it is like a Maria Carrey album. now i dont know about you, but i would love to see the crap get kicked out of this thing. <o:p></o:p></p> <p style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">so your busting through the forest with your gay ass clefairy that you captured about an hour earlier by telling it that you had love and candy inside of your clenched fist... at which point you proceeded to beat it to a bloody pulp until it crawled almost lifeless into your poke ball. you decide that you need to battle another pokemon... Charizard<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/1600/6charizard.png"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/320/6charizard.png" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /></p><p style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);" class="MsoNormal">Charizard is a badass. he has wings and fire on his ass... and some form of a brain tumor. either way, your clefairy is going to get owned. you send him into battle against Charizard. cower in fear you yell! stand there and dont do shit! at this point the Charizard has just about finished eating the gay ass clown you called a pokemon.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">another cool thing about pokemon is that each one can only say its own name. example: pika, pikachu, chu chu, pika chu, chu pika... this roughly translates to: my owner tries to rape me at night while i sleep. what a piece of crap...<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><o:p></o:p></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006676.post-1152773431625945452006-07-12T23:14:00.000-07:002006-07-18T01:14:13.066-07:00Fast food...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/1600/bk_joe.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 163px; height: 230px;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/320/bk_joe.0.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">ARE YOU SERIOUS???</span><br /><br />i really like fast food..... but i hate fast food resturants. actually, i just hate the owners of the franchises. these are the cheap ass bastards that have the nerve to charge me 10 cents for extra ranch, limit my refills to 2 cups, and ration napkins like we are at war.<br /><br /><p class="MsoNormal">so i bust into my local BK. i go up to the counter and order up some sweet creamy goodness, then i wait. i wait and wait and wait. maybe there is a long line of orders... or maybe the fat pig behind the counter is lazy as hell and slower than shit! whatever the case, i want my food and i want it now! finally my food comes. they call my number out loud and wait for me to come get it. i see my sandwich, fries, and a drink. super! i am a happy camper. then i ask for ranch. now i have had some pretty shitty encounters over this crap. you can substitute ranch for ketchup or whatever your condiment of choice is, but it is always the same story. they either A) give you 1 ranch, B) charge you for it, or C) say no. one time, someone had the nerve to ask me what i had ordered to deem it necessary to ration me some BBQ sauce. i got the chicken fingers bitch! who the hell cares? if i ordered fried dolphin on a stick and wanted some ranch, it shouldnt matter...just give it to me! RANCH NAZI!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">finally i find a dime to give to the piece of crap that took my order. i eat my food like an animal and get shit all over my face... of course i am using proper fast food eating technique... i use my napkin to clean up. WTF! i got 1 napkin and i need more, thats cool, ill get some from the napkin dispenser. wait, there isnt one....hmmmm, i will ask the manatee at the counter. lo and behold, much like the ranch and BBQ before, the napkins are also worth more than your first born when it comes to quantity. i must be crazy because you guys are treating napkins like they are leaves of gold.<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style=""><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="">the only thing that can even begin to pacify me is the fact that i can enjoy a nice chilled beverage. my soda cost $1.29. not bad.... and that is after a 5,000% mark up! it cost a fast food chain about 5 cents to make a coke. the cost of the cup is the bulk of the price. i would have to drink about 15 gallons of soda to make them lose profit. so anyway, i finish my soda and proceed to the counter for a free refill. they give it to me.... but guess what, thats all i am going to get. they give your cup the black mark of death on the bottom the signifies it is now useless. you scream out as if your mother has just been assassinated in front of you. WHY WHY WHY?<o:p></o:p></p><br /><p class="MsoNormal"><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/1600/Subway%20on%20Second.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><span style="text-decoration: none;"><!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shapetype id="_x0000_t75" coordsize="21600,21600" spt="75" preferrelative="t" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" filled="f" stroked="f"> <v:stroke joinstyle="miter"> <v:formulas> <v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"> <v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"> <v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"> <v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"> <v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"> <v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"> <v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"> <v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"> </v:formulas> <v:path extrusionok="f" gradientshapeok="t" connecttype="rect"> <o:lock ext="edit" aspectratio="t"> </v:shapetype><v:shape id="_x0000_i1025" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/1600/Subway%20on%20Second.jpg" style="'width:240pt;height:180pt'" button="t"> <v:imagedata src="file:///C:\DOCUME~1\BRANDO~1\LOCALS~1\Temp\msohtml1\01\clip_image001.jpg" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/320/Subway%20on%20Second.jpg"> </v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><!--[endif]--></span></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/1600/Subway%20on%20Second.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/320/Subway%20on%20Second.0.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p><p class="MsoNormal">now, i would like to talk about subway... subway has some good food, friendly people, and nice environment. whats the problem then? you ask! SUBWAY IS NOT QUIZNOS! if i want a toasted sub, i go to quiznos. if i want a nice warm meat sandwich, i go to quiznos. if i want a 10 minute wait because your sorry ass has to microwave the meat and use the speed toaster, i go to subway. OMG does it take forever when they toast it! i could slit my wrist and bleed to death all over the floor before they finish. eaten fresh? mabye about 15 minutes ago it was fresh, but now.... it is just a crappy $7.00 sandwich!<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><br /><br /><p class="MsoNormal"></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31006676.post-1152687249751804372006-07-11T23:40:00.000-07:002006-07-30T11:34:07.066-07:00Freeways<span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">IT MAKES ME SO MAD!!!<br /><br /></span></span>So i am starting up this blog to get a few things out there that i hate. it isnt the type of hate like a "hate crime"... it is the type of hate you experience when some asshole changes lanes 10 feet in front of you going 90 mph on the freeway.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/1600/250px-Harborfreeway2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/320/250px-Harborfreeway2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>That seems like a good place to start... the freeway! first of all, it takes me about 50 years just to get on the damn thing from where i live! "i bet this asshat lives in <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">montana</st1:place></st1:state> with a herd of sheep if it takes him that long to get to the freeway"... no, you are wrong. i live less than 3 miles away from the nearest freeway. getting to it is the equivalent of being dropped out of a Chinook over a Vietnamese death camp with nothing but a spork and packet of ketchup. in case you cared, it is heinz... not hunts. and then busting into the main yard and destroying about 50 guards while holding the baby you rescued from the jail.... yeah, it is THAT hard.<br /><br />so ok, i am now getting onto the freeway...easy, right? <span style="font-weight: bold;">WRONG! </span>this takes great skill and luck and lots more luck because i live in socal... thats right, LA. so i gun my car up the ramp hitting 85 mph before i can even think about merging. then here it comes.... a semi. for all i know, it can be full of illegal aliens or dope, or even doped up illegal aliens. i dont care... the point is that i need to get into that lane and i need to do it now. the way the freeways are set up, you have what i will call the "crappy window of time before your lane ends" or "c.w.o.t.b.y.l.e" for short. you know what i am talking about. it is like an <span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >arranged marriage, you have no say at all. your lane just magically disappears</span> and POOF! you are now one with either A) a wall, B) another car, or C) the flow of traffic. you have about a 90% chance of A or B happening. i know you can do the math, thats right... you got it... 10%! you have a 10% chance of surviving the freeway onramp.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/1600/Yoda.0.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3563/3337/320/Yoda.0.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />wow, what a rush! you just managed to get past the equivelent of male child birth and get onto the freeway in one piece. so now you get to hit the wide open road of sunny california and drive till darkness with your sweatheart. no, sorry... you just hit traffic. you are going 5 mph. you scream at the top of your lungs! "what the hell happened???" you quickly look for guidance from your dashboard yoda, you know, the all knowing GPS. but unlike the real yoda who has amazing powers... your gps simply explains to you that you are offically screwed. ok, so no gps... play it cool. you start to wonder, what the hell has happened up there that has caused all this traffic? considering you have just spent about 2 hours going slower than molasses in the winter, you are damn excited to see what it was that stole that precious time from your life. you creep up ever so slowly and then you see it. did someone's brains get splattered all over the freeway? did chuck norris and a clan of ninjas duke it out? is it some piece of shit asshole that every douche bag on the face of the planet has to slow down to watch change a tire.... <b>YES!</b> you try to think out loud as you try to grasp the situation at hand. this idiot is changing a tire, and a bigger group of idiots are watching him do it!!! meanwhile, you are pleading for someone to end your life!!!<br /><br /><p class="MsoNormal">so now we have gotten past the semis and the traffic... great, 10 more levels and i get to rescue the princess. so now i am driving to my destination when all of the sudden.. WHAM! here it comes. this guy is going +100 mph and he has decided to cut your sorry ass off. you are helpless! your heart skips a beat, oh no! does he even see me? no, he doesnt... in fact, he cant see anyone. wanna know why? because he doesnt give a rats ass about you! want further proof, wait till he gets about 30 feet in front of you. did you see that? yep, thats what you thought it was... he changed lanes, in front of you, without a turn signal... does he think he is better than you? hell yeah he does! this guy thinks that he owns the road... thats okay though, the police will eventually see him and pull him over....right? no, you are the one that gets pulled over! wanna know why? because you were going 67 mph. you piece of shit! how dare your break the law!<br /><br />so now you have gotten past the semis, a douche bag, and received a $372 traffic ticket. how can it get any worse? did i mention that gas is $3.25 a gallon? yep, thats right! pwned bitch! you get a whopping 17 miles to the gallon. you think to yourself, maybe if i carpool i can save money. then you look at the carpool lane. you see a hybrid, with one person, in the carpool lane. "how can this be????" you scream with a razor blade against your wrist. then you see it. a small yellow sticker given to this tree hugger by the government because he spent $5,000 extra dollars on a car that gets 50 miles to the gallon. you hate this guy.... you hate him a lot! if it were legal, you would swerve into him right now and end your life and his!<br /><br />you finally reach your destination... 3 1/2 hours later. well, you think to yourself, at least when i drive home at 11pm tonight there wont be any traffic. and you know what, you are right! there wont be any traffic... but do you know what there will be? construction! you might as well shoot yourself now! knowing your luck, every god damn off ramp will be open, except yours! ha ha! even cal trans has it out for you! they sit there and laugh at you... i hate those bastards!</p><br /><p class="MsoNormal">next blog: fast food... 10 cents for ranch?<br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2