Little Caesars

the pizza empire that Caesar has grown over the years is near its end. we will not stand for the taxes levied on the poor. too many of us have been forced to fight to the death in the coliseum. pizza pizza! is not a battle cry i support! the red sauce is the blood of our fallen brothers. the cheese is the goo that unites us... and the crust.... thats just crust.

for $5 you cant complain. does it taste like cardboard? yep, sure does. are you a fuckin food critic? no? then stfu! its a $5 pizza. i dont wanna hear how it doesnt taste good or how you need it modified to suit your needs. open the door, walk in, slam a $5 bill on the counter, verbally order your pizza, get some crazy bread, leave. you cant go wrong!

i hate people. (this isnt a typo btw)

i hate people that buy little caesars then bitch and moan about how it doesnt taste like pizza hut or papa johns. are you an idiot? if you wanted pizza hut then go buy it. whats that? youre too cheap? yeah... then shut up and eat some crazy bread.

crazy bread was invented by nazi scientists as a way of putting as many calories as possible in a small bread loaf. seriously! its bread, with cheese on top... then dipped in butter. this butter must me made from the milk of angels because its ridiculous. the grease on the top of the pizza is the best part. who needs dipping sauce when you got this stuff?

the cashier at this particular location was pretty hot... thats a plus. its hard to impress someone when youre dropping $5 for pizza to eat by yourself... and youre obese.

overall, little caesars makes a pretty good pizza at a cheap price. its fast and easy... just like (insert girls name... *everyone lols*) they dont take credit card or debit. is it that hard to get $5 in cash? are you so wealthy that finding that piddly amount is just too hard to do? my word! i had no idea mr trump was gonna buy his family a pizza with his gold card.

bottom line: youre fat, cheap, and lazy.... go get a pizza from little caesars