Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Organic Food

Organic food is for hippies!

i hate organic food. i dont care if it is good for me... i dont care if it has a lot of nutrients. what the hell are nutrients anyway? that is all anyone ever talks about! screw that shit! i want by blue 46 and yellow 23. i dont care what the flavor is... whats my favorite flavor? green! thats my favorite flavor. how is green a flavor? hell if i know!

i will tell you right off the bat... there is nothing better in life than biting into a big juicy government controlled steroid enriched burger. fuck regular cows! those are the bitch cows that dont get any. i want the big meaty cow with an extra head for added flavor! i wont buy anything in a store that doesnt say artificial added flavor. i love artificial flavor! there is nothing like a cherry pepsi... all filled with whatever the hell they put in it. my favorite juice is the one that says... contains 0% juice. hell yeah, water and color....thats it! then give it to the flavor elf to make it all badass and good. yeah, i said it... flavor elf.

now if you are that guy that only eats soy milk and likes to marry animals instead of decapitating them for food.... you are an asshole. the whole point of a chicken is to die. that is the only reason they even exist. wait.... scratch that, first you need to pump them full of corn and chemicals for taste... i wont eat it unless it has like 50 heads and more juice than barry bonds. chicken nuggets are awesome. they come in 2 shapes, one for dipping and the other for more dipping. you cant make it any easier than that!

most animals would kill for a chance to die for you... trust me. most animals would throw themselves in front of a train if they knew we would scrap them up for food. cats and dogs have been killing themselves with cars for years... when your dog gets smashed, it means he wanted you to eat him, now honor his ass by eating it!

is it just me, or are all the people that buy that organic crap always stuck up and to good to be like everyone else? screw you! wow, you are way cool... you just spent $5 on a can of soy milk. yay for you. i took my $5 and got 5 Mc Chickens.... thats right, 5 chinkens died for this badass meal. you are a pansy...

salad is totally badass if you dont care about organic. it comes in a sack. hell yes! i just rip open the bag with my totally bomb high fructose corn syrup hands and BAM! salad for me and my 3 closest friends. wait, i forgot... i need meat on this.... there we go, bacon bits and chiken strips. so with the 5 mc chickens, i am at 7 animals. that sounds like a cool number. if only there was a way to celebrate... i know! i will ride a horse... to the dog food factory! piece of shit horse...

1 comment:

Nichole! said...

rofl, true brandon.