Monday, October 01, 2012

Red Lobster

i got crabs from red lobster... they tasted ok. the real treasure here are the freakin biscuits. i would beat a unicorn to death for a basket of those butter soaked heart stoppers. pro tip: order crabs and open up a biscuit. place the crab in there.... close it up. you are now going to eat a McCrab sandwich. dip the whole thing in butter for that extra fat feeling.

the waiting room has a small tank where they keep criminal lobsters. these lobsters committed many a crime while in the sea. i saw one that had a tattoo... said "pinch this! Bitch!"

while waiting for my table i saw no less than 3 lobster knife fights. it was obvious which one was the bitch lobster. he just curled up in the corner and watched the others battle over his oddly small anus.

in general, the wait staff was friendly.... i was slightly upset that none of them where actual sailors. overall.... ok experience.

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